{"id":252,"date":"2011-10-23T18:51:56","date_gmt":"2011-10-23T13:21:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/?p=252"},"modified":"2026-03-03T18:40:52","modified_gmt":"2026-03-03T13:10:52","slug":"the-death-of-english","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/?p=252","title":{"rendered":"The Death of English"},"content":{"rendered":"

In 1846<\/b>, the British<\/b> annexed Kashmir<\/b> and sold it for 75 lakh Nanak Shahi Rupees to Gulab Singh <\/b>via the Treaty of Amritsar<\/a><\/b>.
\nRevenge, as they say, is a dish best tasted cold.
\nA century and a half later, we have been able to extract a measure of revenge. My younger son, Khurram<\/b>, has been mounting a series of fearless guerilla attacks on the most precious possession of the British – the English language. Khummisms<\/b> range from 'panograma<\/b>' (photography) and 'The Devil wears Braga<\/b>' (movies) to 'printer cartilages<\/b>' via 'Stratergy<\/b>' (don't ask!). Khurram unhesitantly invents or twists words when he is in full flow. Homonyms, heteronyms and and other assorted nyms – even words wholly unrelated by sound or meaning – form part of his arsenal. Messrs Wren & Martin<\/b> must be shaking in their graves.
\nFor all Khurram's enthusiasm, being a mere schoolboy he is no match for the sheer professionalism of our next contender. This gentleman (or a series of assorted brains working together), who wrote to my office last week, has tortured the English language with enthusiasm worthy of the Inquisition<\/b>. He must unfortunately remain anonymous. <\/p>\n


\nConsider these gems:
\n'within the basis towards circumstances of periodic presence'<\/i> (indeed!)
\n'generous enough with little additional gratifications'<\/i>
\n'equally well-regarded with extra regards'<\/i>
\nTotally mind-boggling. It reminds me of the letter written by Okhil Chandra Sen<\/b> to the to the Sahibganj Divisional Railway Office in Bengal in 1909<\/b> that is supposed to have led to the introduction of toilets in indian trains:
\n
\nEnglish R.I.P
\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In 1846, the British annexed Kashmir and sold it for 75 lakh Nanak Shahi Rupees to Gulab Singh via the Treaty of Amritsar. Revenge, as they say, is a dish best tasted cold. A century and a half later, we have been able to extract a measure of revenge. My younger son, Khurram, has been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kashmir","category-language"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=252"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1907,"href":"https:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252\/revisions\/1907"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kashmirnetwork.com\/justju\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}